


Books

by CleanFootApplesauce



Category: Fairy Tales - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Animalistic, Animalistic Behavior, Animals, Death, Fairy Tales with a Twist, Fighting, Homelessness, Killing, Multi, Other, Red Riding Hood - Freeform, Surprises, Tales, Twisted, Twisted Tales, Violence, big abd wolf, eating cats, hunger, three bears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleanFootApplesauce/pseuds/CleanFootApplesauce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all need a twist in the known.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Little Red Ridinghood is a very popular story; so well known it has been made into plays, movies, and books. This will also be a retelling of Little Red Ridinghood, but not something anyone would expect. The story itself may not always make sense or line up. That is the point though.

 

The story begins at Grandma’s house, Red Ridinghood has just arrived and is exclaiming her run-in with a wolf to the elderly woman. Red Ridinghood is a blonde, and by default, very-very dumb. In fact she sometimes has to be put into a straight-jacket due to the seizures she gets for being so dumb. The house Red Ridinghood had ran into wasn’t even her Grandmother’s, her Grandma doesn’t even live in a house, she lives in a box. Just not any box though, a refrigerator box. Sadly, there is no possible treatment to aid Red Ridinghood’s stupidity.

Now back to the box! Red Ridinghood’s Grandma lives in a box because Hansel and Gretel ate her house. Hansel is no longer with us due to the inhalation of all the candy which ended up turning him into a balloon of sorts and he drifted up into the atmosphere. His body still hasn’t been found, since it was burned to dust when he attempted to go through the Ozone layer. Gretel got a belly ache and later died from an allergen to gingerbread. With a box for a house Red Ridinghood has to bring her Grandma food.  

Finally Red Ridinghood noticed that this old, wrinkly lady wasn’t her  Grandma, so she walked out and over across the street-without looking both ways- behind the China Take-out. Like usual, Grandma was trying to coax the stray cat over so that she could eat it and then use its fur for a pillow.

“Grandma!  A gigantic wolf attacked me and ate all the food I was bringing you!” Red Ridinghood yelled, causing the mangy cat to run away in terror.

“Red, you scared me din-din away!” Grandma exclaimed angerly as she gestured to where the cat had been seconds ago.

“Dinner? But I brought you dinner.” Red said confused.

“You just told me that a wolf ate it.”

“Oh...yeah, it was gigantic! He took my plastic bag too!”

“What have I told you about plastic bags!? Or don’t you remember?” Grandma growled.

“Grandma, you never said anything about plastic bags until now.” Red Ridinghood muttered with a roll of her eyes.

“No. I told you yesterday- those plastic bags pollute. Do you want your old granny here to choke on one?!”

“Of course not! I never thought about anyone getting hurt.”

“What about the animals, Red?”

“No one cares about those!”

“Well, I do! How else do I eat?”

“That’s easy, I bring food to you.”

“Then where is the food?”

“...I just had it...where did it go?”

“A wolf ate it remember?”

“...No, no. I ate it. You weren’t supposed to know that!”

“Why did you eat my food?”

“It smelled good.”

“The food wasn’t for you.”

“Yeah. But my tummy told me to do it!”

“...That wasn’t your tummy Red.”

“Yes it was! My tummy rumbled!”

“Next time eat before you bring me the food.”

“But Grandma, I already do!”

“You do?”

“Yep. Breakfast.”

At this Grandma shook her head and face-palmed, it had just dawned on her how stupid her granddaughter truly was. “Now I feel bad for dropping you into the bear pit when you were little,” Grandma said heavily, “I don’t understand how you made it this far.”

“Shut up!”

 


	2. The Three Bears

One bright and sunny day a lonely Wolf was traveling along an old, stony road when he started to feel a rumbly in his tummy. The Wolf suddenly was overcome with a scent that made his nose tingle. He followed the smell until he came to a clearing where a small cottage stood. Slowly he crept closer until he was able to peek in through one of the windows, three bears moved about inside-a Mother Bear, a Father Bear, and a Baby Bear- all alone and just waiting for a visitor to knock on their door.

The unsuspecting bears didn’t even suspect the ravenous Wolf, he approached the wooden front door and knocked three times.

knock knock knock

It was already decided before the door even opened that the biggest bear would go down first. The Wolf listened to uneven steps of the approaching bear- too loud-too heavy to be anything other than the Father Bear himself. The cabin door open with a small creak and the father bear stepped back to open the door wider.

“Hello…?” Father Bear rumbled as he glanced outside, the large bear wasn’t prepared for the immediate attack from the Wolf.

With a low snarl, Wolf flung himself through the air and onto the Father Bear, he wrapped his paws around as much of Father Bear’s neck as possible and bit down hard, efficiently breaking the bear’s neck.  Father Bear fell down with a resounding thump startling Mother Bear and Baby Bear, but not soon enough. The wolf leapt through the air, twisting and landing on Mother Bear and doing the same also to her. Her large body hit the floor with a softer thump than Father Bear.

Baby Bear backed away from the bodies looking at the wolf with large, wide eyes, “...Father?...Mother…?” Baby Bear questioned in shock.

Wolf turned from the two Bear's bodies and stalked to where Baby Bear cowered under the kitchen table. With quick reflexes the Wolf grabbed Baby Bear and dragged him out, he held the small bear over his head until he slammed the bear down onto the kitchen floor- sending a loud crack to fill the room as blood slowly seeped through the large split in the Baby Bear’s skull and  steadily formed a puddle on the floor and around the now limp Baby Bear’s body.

With a growl of satisfaction at the quickness of the kills, the Wolf decided to taste a bit of each Bear, to see who tastes the best. First the wolf tried a bite of Father Bear, but the meat proved to be too salty and fatty. Lapping up some water that poured from the kitchen sink, Wolf turned and loped to where Mother Bear’s body laid in a heap on the floor. He took a small bite from her and found her to be too sour and spoiled-like she had already been rotting from the inside-out. The Wolf drank another bit of water then turned to the crumpled body of Baby Bear. He approached slowly, looking over the now crumpled form before bending his head down and taking a bite out of the Baby Bear. First one bite, then another, until there remained nothing of the Baby Bear expect for a puddle of blood on the kitchen floor.

Now happy, and with a full stomach, the Wolf turned and trotted out of the small cottage. A lopsided grin covered his still blood stained lips as he made his way back to the old, stony road he had started on earlier. That was the end of the three bears, and this story.


End file.
